The MNN (Mom News Network)

Have you ever felt like you had more than one mom watching over you? Has the entire town you grew up in ever known all your business, maybe even before you did? Have you ever been pulled over by the police on the main road and before you can get home to tell your parents they already know? If you said yes to any of these then you may have been a target of the MNN.

The MNN is an elusive organization of mothers who have banned together to watch over everyone’s children. When you were a kid this meant someone kept a watchful eye over you and your friends playing in the street. It was the babysitting co-op where the moms babysat neighborhood kids in exchange for coupons they could use to get a babysitter in the future.  Did you get grounded at recess? Don’t worry about breaking the news to your parents- THEY ALREADY KNOW, but they will pretend they don’t to see if you say anything first. As we got older it was the same old thing, just bigger issues. Make-out with the cute guy behind the gym (and no one was around)? The MNN knows. Run that stop sign in Westpark? The MNN knows.  Fighting with the best friend? THE MNN KNOWS.*

I have been trying to escape the MNN for as long as I can remember. I now live 1,400 miles away and have successfully escaped.  Well, I thought I had escaped. One of the founding members of the MNN is moving to the very state where I currently reside and I GUARANTEE that my being twenty-six-years-old will make no difference to the MNN powers that be. Well it was a nice MNN-free six months.

*Disclaimer: The MNN isn’t ALL bad. It’s nice to have mom #2 to run to when you’re fighting with your own. Or to pick you up from soccer when you need a ride. Or to teach you how to use the fancy knives. Or to give you a job when you really need one. Or to help take care of you when you’re sick. Sometimes I don’t think I’d be the person I am today without such a fantastic MNN. But officially, I’m annoyed.